What we hide so well

This has not been a really great week.

My son fractured his rib and has been in quite a bit of pain. So far we have had no responses from doctors other than, he will have to tough it out. In a way, they are correct. You can’t bind a rib. But my son has managed to not take full breaths and has managed to get bronchitis. Good times.

We were given medication and balloons. The balloons have been fun. They force him to take full breaths and make those lungs move. The medication hasn’t touched him. Still a lot of pain. So now it’s been two more days of being shuffled around and still in pain.

I’m also not feeling great. Chronic illness isn’t a ton of fun. Somedays it’s just hard to push through.

I got put in Palliative Care, but get the sneaking suspicion that they don’t know what to do with me, ha! Not an uncommon occurrence. I was actually told I would be easier to treat if I had cancer. Ouch. Yup, not planning on picking that up. I think what I have going on is quite sufficient thank you very much.

What kind of broke the camel’s back is the feeling that I should be grateful for the troubles that we are having with some of our possessions. While I am thankful that we have stuff, I get worried that we have so many other things going on and it’s one more thing that I may not have the energy or resources to care for.

The thing is that you can be grateful and worried at the same time. These feelings can coexist. And if you don’t take the time to look at the big picture of what is going on in our circumstances, you don’t get to judge. They don’t see the fact my husband is taking a second job and I’m looking at a third job just to keep going. Life isn’t cheap and we are still paying off medical debt.

We will manage and things will work out.

I also realized that I can’t make people care or be interested in what we are going through. It is a lot and I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea or coffee. But we do have people who love and care for us and for those who have stuck around, I am so grateful for you and the blessing you are to our family.